Last night I got to share my journey at MISS FOX Melbourne with Victoria Fox.
I first met Victoria when I joined Entrepreneurs' Organization almost 5 years ago, with the hopes of meeting a group of entrepreneurs that were wiser and more experienced than me so that I could 'soak up' all their knowledge, give me the answers to life and show me the pathway to "success". Little did I realise that this pathway to success and all the 'silver bullets' I thought would be the key and solution to life's problems ...did not exist. Yes, I was so very, very naive. I remember going on our first 'Forum Retreat', not really knowing what to expect, but excited that I'd be surrounded by multi-millionaires that had their sh*t together and were just killing it on all fronts. I just wanted to soak up all their successes and have it rub off on me.
Ooh boy. Was I in for a real treat.
I started crying uncontrollably just 30 mins into the first workshop. I didn't show emotion back then, so it was weird and embarrassing. It was the first time I opened this can of worms, an unravelling of my true self.
I had worked so hard on business, setting goals, hitting them and moving that goal post again... I never sat down to ask myself - what was it that I was working so hard for? Was I actually even happy with my life - every single part of it? In reality, whilst on the outside, business seemed to be going so well, growing, expanding, building. I started getting invites to speak at events. Our social media was off the hook. Everything looked pretty amazing - and don't get me wrong, I was always so grateful for every cupcake we ever sold, every dollar we earnt.
But something was wrong. I had buried myself. The true me was buried somewhere deep and it had this little moment to make itself heard. Unfortunately, it came out in ugly snotty sobs in front of 8 new friends.
Fortunately, these guys were the most non-judgemental, compassionate people I could trust 10000%. Since then it has been an unravelling of a deep understanding of who I truly am, to my core. My patterns, what motivates me, why I'm good at some things and not others, how I am able to create, how I sabotage myself.
Most of all though, it's been a journey to loving myself.
I used to think that self-love, self-care is just all so la-di-da. I've been taught to work hard, everything comes first, success comes first before you. That is, until everything starts to crumble. Adrenaline only gets you so far.
Over the last few years, I've come to the realisation that the word SUCCESS no longer lives in my vocabulary because it's a neverending chase and only gives me the illusion of happiness. So instead I'm replacing it with my values - Growth, Honesty, Integrity, Inspiration. What does "integrity" look like to me? How can I feel "inspiration" daily? Do I feel "growth"? If these words resonate, I'm sharing this with you because I've found there is another way to live. It's uncomfortable, ugly and so NOT fun when the can of worms start spilling out but wow, it feels good to be free when you deal with it all.
Surround yourself with people you can trust, find people that aren't doing the normal stuff, find the crazy ones to show you the way, find those that don't judge you for who you are but only encourage to be more of YOU. They exist.
- Sheryl Thai
Sheryl is a MISS FOX Self Care Ambassador. She is co-founder and CEO of the League of Extraordinary Women and Meet Your Maven mentoring platform. You can connect with Sheryl at @hatchthatdream