Cosmeceutical vs Over The Counter Skin Care

Did you know that despite all it’s pretty packaging and copious advertisement, skin care products sold over the counter in department stores and specialty boutiques only work on the very surface? Take a closer look at any label and a pesky little “may” will be plopped right in front of any claims it insists it provides.

In Australia any product that creates actual biological actions on the skin below the stratum corneum (the outermost layer of the skin) cannot be sold without recommendation from a qualified, professional therapist — in addition any claims a product makes must be approved by the Australian Therapeutic Goods Association. As department store products are only cosmetic, they’re not legally allowed to guarantee the effects of their product on skin structure or function. This is where cosmeceutical products come in. 

What is cosmeceutical skin care?

Although the term isn’t regulated (meaning you still might see it on department store products), true cosmeceutical skin care is the harmonious collaboration of cosmetics and pharmaceuticals. It’s fortified with medicinal properties that create real biological action, penetrating deep into the skin and creating lasting change for the better. Cosmeceutical skin care also has higher, more potent and actively balanced ingredients to better nourish, replenish and transform your skin. 

At MISS FOX we exclusively offer cosmeceutical skin care, backed by medical research and potent in ingredients and quality — we only want the best for your skin. Glowing as much on the outside as you do inside is such an empowering position, so equipping you with the best products to achieve this is our mission.


One of the key brands we love and believe in is Osmosis Skincare. Created by Dr Ben Johnson, Osmosis was born with a holistic ethos of inspiring, healing and remodelling. Rather than wearing down the skins barriers or simply masking the root concern, Osmosis gets down to the core of the issue and works to remodel your skin at a cellular level, creating a great foundation to build up on — even when not using the product!

Although the right cleanser and moisturiser are essential, the most transformative and bioactive step happens with serums. The following four serums are key to a superb complexion, used either alone or in combination by recommendation from your consultation: 



Growth factors are stem cell-derived proteins that our bodies naturally produce to help regulate cell production and the division, maturation, and growth of cells.

This process in our bodies inevitably slows down as we age, causing wrinkles, discolouration, and other skin imperfections. In an effort to combat that decrease in production, we are utilising growth factors in a unique, highly results-driven way! StemFactor contains over 540 uniquely identified proteins and a higher concentration of growth factors that help reverse ageing with clinical evidence of its efficacy!

Stemfactor contains actual human stem cell-derived molecules of collagen, elastin, SOD (superoxide dismutase), fibronectin, and the feature ingredient, tropocollagen. All of these are components that our skin produces naturally, making it easy for the skin to recognise and regenerate these proteins back into the system resulting in repair and a reversal of ageing.

USAGE: Apply 1 pump morning and night before all other serums. 



Rescue has proven to be one of the most successful tools in effectively and permanently treating skin concerns such as Rosacea, wounds and inflammation, enlarged pores, hyperpigmentation, scarring, and skin texture changes.

The patented Trioxolane molecule in Rescue is created through a proprietary process that allows it to become stable and extremely potent. It creates a bioidentical molecule to what is found naturally in the body, making this ingredient easily recognized by the skin and absorbed into your system.

Oxidative damage is ravages the epidermis, causing inflammation and free-radical damage, or wrinkles. Rescue is a powerful oxygen repair tool which promotes long-term healing and repair as well as relief from inflamed skin conditions such as Rosacea in a matter of weeks.

INDICATIONS: All Skin Types, Rosacea, Inflammation, Acne, Enlarged Pores, Scarring, Melasma/Pigmentation.
USAGE: Apply 1 pump with Clear Activating Mist, morning and night. 



You've heard it one thousand times by now, Vitamin A is the yin to your yang, the pea to your pod, the coffee to your morning! Osmosis Vitamin A, liposomal Retinaldehyde, arguably is the BEST form of Vitamin A for your skin!

In the body, we convert Beta Carotene into Retinol, Retinol into Retinaldehyde, and Retinaldehyde into Retinoic Acid, a very detailed process! All of these Vitamin A derivatives serve an important job to the skin but the strongest, most active form is Retinoic Acid. Retinoic Acid is the only ingredient that requires a prescription even though Retinaldehyde has a similar activity level. Both Retinaldehyde and Retinoic acid are 500 times more active than their Vitamin A counterparts! This means we can use smaller amounts in our formulas, but still see BIG results without irritating the skin!

The advantage of using Retinaldehyde, is that smaller amounts (with much higher activity levels) can be used very effectively when incorporated into a liposome. By doing this, we enhance its penetration (an important factor in the use of Retinols because of their size) and help prevent its oxidation which also occurs with all Retinols. What does this mean for your skin?

This means, your skin's absorption rate is increased by a clinically proven 600% and active Vitamin A can be delivered along with other support ingredients that stimulate Collagen and Cell Renewal while increasing nutrients to your skin. Calm: Sensitive Skin or as a first Vitamin A serum; Correct: Normal and Ageing Skin; Renew: Mature Aging Skin; Clarify: Acne and Blemish Prone Skin.

USAGE: Apply 1 pump with Clear Activating Mist, morning and night. 



DNA is the essential communicator within our cells, instructing each cell how to function. With extensive damage that comes from the normal aging processes, environmental exposures, and lifestyle, our cells perform less efficiently. Repairing that damage is essential to healthier, younger functioning skin.

Catalyst AC11 is the ultimate DNA repair serum. Osmosis uses Vitamin C in the form of L-ascorbic acid which is essential in forming proteins in the skin. Alpha ketoglutarate, a key intermediate in the Krebs cycle, enhances the activity of L-ascorbic acid for even more protein production. By adding amino acids we also provide the skin with building blocks to create protein. Zinc Fingers are created by combining Vitamin C, amino acids, copper, and zinc. In our skin they repair DNA damage. AC-11TMis an extract from Cat's Claw and is clinically proven to correct and prevent the formation of Thymine-Thymine Dimers, a mutation in our DNA that occurs from UV exposure. It also decreases erythema from excess sun exposure and improves our skin's immunity.

Clinically proven to improve elasticity, reduce broken capillaries and redness, tighten the eyelids, improve skin radiance and luminosity. With a cellular focus, we see results that far surpass other products on the market. We are now creating younger skin with permanent results.

USAGE: Apply 1 pump with Clear Activating Mist, morning and night.

Why not step into 2019 with your best face forward? Start with a Holistic Skin Analysis — a comprehensive internal and external assessment and skin care plan formulation, fully redeemable against Osmosis products. It includes the next generation VISIA skin scan to reveal the conditions above and below the skin surface, as well as true skin age, so you can make truly informed, holistic decisions about your skin’s requirements, and show some love to the skin you’re in.

Book your skin analysis with our specialists now.

Beauty Tips



If you're looking to satiate cravings and also enjoy a luscious keto-friendly treat, these vegan, dairy-free, sugar-free and gluten-free chocolate fat bombs should be your choice of pleasure. And, this ketogenic fat bomb recipe by MISS FOX only takes a few minutes to prepare. The raw cacao will give you a caffeine boost to increase alertness, as well as highly-protective antioxidants for more radiant skin. We’ve also included adaptogens in the form of reishi mushroom for a cognitive boost.

To a saucepan on very low heat, add:

  • Half a cup of organic cold pressed coconut oil (We love “Loving Earth” Coconut Oil)

  • Half a cup of any nut butter or combination of them (We love “Alfies” organic almond butter)

  • 1 tablespoon raw Cacao powder or more/less to taste (We love *Loving Earth” raw cacao)

  • ½ tsp cinnamon, ½ tsp reishi mushroom and anything else you like (nutmeg, pepper, matcha etc)

  • Add a little half pinch of salt if using unsalted nut butter

  • Add approx ½ cup toasted organic hazelnuts, or nuts of choice

  • Add a tablespoon of raw cacao nibs, or less to taste.

  • Add 1-2 heaped teaspoons Xylitol (natural sweetener from Birch Bark)

  • Add 10 drops of Caramel stevia natural sweetner (or plain Stevia)

Melt over low heat until fragrant and combined, taking care not to burn. Pour into ice cube trays or a greaseproof paper lined tin or pyrex. Sprinkle over cacao nibs. Freeze for 4+ hours then pop out and cut into pieces. Store in the freezer or fridge in a container for up to 2 months.
Savour a piece when you need an indulgent treat, and be sure not to eat them at night, or remove the cacao from the recipe altogether if you are sensitive to stimulants.


What is Harmonized Water?

If you take a look at the label on your Osmosis products, you will see that all contain the mysterious “Harmonised Water”, and you can even purchase it by the bottle — but what is it?

According to Dr Ben Johnson, founder and creator of Osmosis, every cell in your body has its own frequency much like a fingerprint. Harmonized Water works by communicating therapeutic frequency imprinted on the water molecule. Harmonized Water resets cell frequencies, restoring the body to an optimal state. Then, as organ systems improve, so does the skin. 

Harmonized Water is designed to function in 3 ways:

  • Recalibrating imbalanced cells throughout the body

  • Cancelling harmful frequencies

  • Replacing and enhancing the body's natural frequencies

Vibrational Frequencies

All cells vibrate in very specific ways. Within our cells, each component (electrons, protons, quarks, muons, etc) vibrates. In each cell, there are thousands (if not millions) of tiny cellular components that radiate energy and light as a team. From a broader point of view, every organ is also a compilation and has a unique vibration when it is healthy and differing vibrations when it is sick (unbalanced). It is the compilation of "musical notes" of every cell's vibration that make cells, organs, humans, and everything else look and feel solid. Quantum physics has proven this. Growth factors and hormones also have distinctive vibrations. Even thoughts are made of measurable vibrational frequency that impacts our cells positively or negatively. When disease states set in, vibrational rates change as does the physical appearance of the tissue involved. For example, red blood cells maintain different frequencies and appearance when they are in a lower pH and/or when there is less oxygen present. 

Disease and Imbalance

Disease develops in the human body from pathogens, the ingestion and inhalation of toxins, negative thoughts or a combination of any and all of them. Everything is energy and so all of these influences change healthy vibrations into unhealthy or unbalanced ones. The body often works to restore the tissues to their normal vibratory rate but that obviously does not always occur. Drugs offer vibrational energy solutions but sometimes they contain energies that are toxic resulting in energetic imbalances and causing side effects. Human physiology is an amazing, interconnected maze of energetic checks and balances. Medicine, in many instances, has suggested that altered physiology is the effect of a system gone haywire as opposed to a system that is operating to the best of its ability in light of the changes forced upon it by outside influences. The future of medicine will use more targeted treatments that do not interfere with normal cellular functions. Harmonized Water empowers the body to recalibrate without interfering with normal physiology. 

Our cellular vibrations come from the universal energy that creates us. They are pulses of energy that are "refreshed" in nanoseconds on an individual basis. However, our life choices including outside influences like alcohol, sugar, and negative thinking leave "toxic energy clouds" that interfere with the healthy vibrations leaving energetic and physiologic imbalances. The more toxins that are in our system, the more imbalanced the affected tissue energy becomes. One of the goals of Harmonized Water is to negate the damaging aspects of these toxins.

The Technology

Harmonized Water contains several revolutionary breakthroughs to achieve its success. It helps to balance tissue disharmonies by delivering beneficial radio frequencies (in the form of scalar waves) to the cells using water as a carrier. The frequencies we use have been determined by a proprietary math formula that allows us to reverse engineer most substances and determine their actual vibrational rate. We then imprint these frequencies on water molecules by forming scalar waves (waves that pulse from rest). Harmonized Waters can communicate to the cell with a language that is better recognized and more specific than the frequencies of commonly used remedies.


Drinking Harmonized Water (available as an oral spritz) results in a modification of the "toxic filter" which allows healthy cellular activity to return. It provides harmony to a disorganized section of anatomy but it does not affect cells operating in harmony already. It can maximize healthy activity and reduce disharmonic vibrations in a variety of physiologic abnormalities in the body. For this reason, there are not any side effects.

We have had remarkable success since the inception of Harmonized Water. All of the results are guaranteed. Harmonized Water is not a medicine or a drug, it is a water that balances cellular disharmonies, and as a result, the body may heal itself.

Today & Tomorrow

Harmonized Water is not just about neutralizing imbalanced frequencies. The possibilities are endless.

Visit MISS FOX to discuss the Osmosis range, or shop online at our MISS FOX Boutique. Article courtesy of Osmosis Skincare.


With the holiday period fast approaching, it is easy to get caught up in the frantic nature of this time of year.  As our diaries fill with engagements, as we over indulge and push the limits it comes as no surprise that stress, anxiety and exhaustion levels are heightened.  

Whilst the holiday period can be a very exciting time, it is important to take a moment to check in with yourself and consider a few of the following tasks to maximise your wellbeing into the new year. 

Routine & Daily Rituals

Often the first thing that goes when we experience heightened periods of stress  is our routine.  It's important not to forget the daily activities and tasks that might occur automatically, but bring purpose and meaning to your day. I like to refer to these tasks as ‘daily rituals’ — they may be small but they are functions that sustain you, make you feel good from the inside-out and help kick start your brain to build positive habits (and start to change the ones that don’t serve you). 

Aside from the usual routine of eating well, and getting plenty of rest and exercise, daily rituals could include: walking a little further for your morning coffee to clear your mind, starting each morning with an affirmation you’ve written, attending a different gym or yoga class to challenge yourself, meditating for 10 minutes each morning or reading a new book, considering a new hobby or creative pursuit to engage your brain in a different way, cleaning your home or office with intent and seeing it as an opportunity to cleanse your environment.

Make Yourself a Priority

 Recognising and honouring yourself during this time is vitally important. There are a number of cultural and societal beliefs that allude to self care as being a selfish act. This is untrue.  Rather I like to see self care as a courageous act that sees you showing up in your world and embodies self-responsibility.

Honouring yourself isn’t always easy.  Often coming to a place of comfort with your self care routine takes time as it is a learning process - to unlearn negative ways of caring for ourselves and embrace positive ones.  A good place to start is by reflecting on your boundaries; what feels right and what doesn’t? What is it that you want and value in your life and what don’t you?  This generates a list of positive and negatives that can guide you and bring to attention areas within your life that can be adopted or changed. 

When we have a clearer idea of what we want and value, we tend to be more comfortable with setting boundaries and using the big “NO” word.  One of the most common behaviours we continue to do is say ‘Yes’ to something we don’t want to do and then give ourselves a hard time for doing so.   This can be a difficult skill to learn for most people, particularly if you are a people pleaser, but its not impossible!  So let’s try to interrupt this pattern and think about each action or request we are about to enter into over the holiday period, pause and create some space to think about it, ensure it feels right prior to responding.  If it doesn’t it may be a great time to practice NO.

It is also important to regularly check in with how you feel in a particular situation or given moment. Do a quick ‘emotion check’ – how am I feeling right now and start to honour that emotion.  If you are sad, acknowledge this, if you are uncomfortable acknowledge this, if you are nervous acknowledge this.  Being mindful of your emotions rather than trying to supress or ignore them is powerful & allowing you to be present in the moment.  

Self care is listening to your body and caring for it physically, emotionally and mentally, eating, drinking and socialising in moderation and being really clear on your limits. Often we push ourselves to fit everything into our calendar and get to the end of the year exhausted. Lets attempt to slow down just a little.

Be a Mindful Consumer

With increasing societal pressures to give Christmas gifts and spend copious amounts of money on the newest gift crazes, we are unknowingly creating extraordinary financial stresses, debts and burdens that follow us into the New Year. 

If you haven’t already completed your shopping, rethink your gift giving strategy to include more mindful consumption practices.  Being mindful means you embody an awareness that allows you to make clear decisions, remaining in touch with your priorities & underlying motives for spending and helps you to become conscious of the value placed on certain material items.  Being mindful also means you are shopping within your means.  

 Create a ‘mindful budget’ for each family member or friend you wish to buy for and stick to it.   Consider purchasing from stores that support your local community or that give back to charity.  Consider giving mindful gifts that provide an experience or require the receiver to do something:  a set of paints to create an artwork, a book to aid self-development or a ticket to a local gallery or show.

Create Intentions & Small Goals

Creating new intentions and setting small goals can give you a real meaningful boost and provides you some quiet moments to ponder and reflect on your achievements and set backs over the year. Realistic goals and small intentions that affirm what’s important to you don’t need to wait until New Years Eve! In fact often we feel so pressured to have a New Years Resolution that we create these huge endeavours that are difficult to achieve and leaves us feeling disillusioned and discouraged with our efforts.  So start now.  Nothing too hectic or extreme, just small and repeatable functions you can carry out to honour your self and your needs.


Be Realistic About Family:

Family dynamics are often amplified during the holiday period as we come together with people we have not seen for some time, don’t wish to see, or are expected to maintain a jovial relationship with.  Even the most tolerant and happy of family members may find themselves feeling burdened by expectations, unable to meet the demands placed upon them or feeling  triggered by unexpected emotions or unresolved tensions.  

Conflict within families is common.  It’s important to remember this and allow yourself space if and when you need it.  Remember that you may not have control over your family members; what they say or how they act, but you do have control over yourself and your actions.

 Putting healthy boundaries in place around what you will do with family, what you can and cannot contribute over this period and clarifying expectations can be immensely helpful. Setting time limits for family functions and communicating this on your arrival allows everyone to be clear about your commitments or limitations on the day.  This helps you maintain a sense of control in an environment that might otherwise feel out of control and will hopefully assist you in making good use of the time you have allocated to your family. 

Reach out

The message we are told is that the holiday period is a time for “happiness, family unity and holiday cheer” but for many people the reality is anything but. As Christmas approaches it can be an incredibly tense and tough period.  Loneliness, hardship, grief and loss can significantly increase stress levels and one’s ability to cope resulting in disruption and mental health issues. 

Sadly, many of us remain silent about how difficult Christmas actually is, how burdened you may feel by all the expectations or how lonely or isolated you are.  Speaking up is ‘just not in the spirit of Christmas’.  This means many of our difficult experiences or hardships go unheard and unnoticed.

In acting mindfully, I encourage you to check in with how you are coping (or not coping) and reach out for help if you are struggling. No man is an island, you’re not expected to go it all alone.  Reaching out can feel odd at first but it is often the first step required to getting the help you deserve.  Speak to a friend, a neighbour, a counsellor or a colleague. For those that are isolated or need someone more formal to speak to a number of telephone support services are available over this period and will be listed at the end.  

If you feel capable giving of your self can be a great antidote to feelings of depression, loneliness and isolation.  For those who have no family to celebrate with volunteering at a shelter or food truck that prepares meals - Ruff Sleepers is a popular and much needed option. Get creative, contact your local council or charity and check what they have happening within the local community that you can get involved in or help with.


Lifeline on 13 11 14

Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800

MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978

Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467

Beyond Blue on 1300 2246 36

About Brooke Cefai

Brooke Cefai is a Melbourne based Counsellor & Wellbeing Facilitator who has spent two decades working in a number of diverse counselling and wellness settings in Sydney & Melbourne. This includes the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse, Victims Services NSW, PWD Abuse & Neglect Hotline, Mission Australia Counselling Services, and Essential Energies Wellbeing Centre. Brooke’s qualifications include a Graduate Diploma of Counselling and Masters of Counselling and Psychotherapy. Wellness qualifications include a Certificate of Metaphysics and Advanced Certificate of Spiritual Healing. She is professionally registered with the Psychotherapy & Counselling Federation of Australia (PACFA).

Brooke uses a holistic approach to counselling that draws on a number of counselling models and techniques chosen specifically to meet a person’s current needs. This approach considers physiological and psychological disorder as part of a greater whole and will focus on the relationship between body, mind and spirit to empower individuals to unlock their innate wisdom and potential. Brooke is further guided by a psychodynamic framework meaning within sessions the aim is to bring unconscious elements within one's life into consciousness and often requires an exploration of your past to understand the current impact on the present. Brooke is available for private counselling sessions at MISS FOX, online, and at her South Melbourne clinic. Contact Brooke here or at



The new year is the perfect time to get in alignment and set some solid goals for yourself. But grinding, hustling and pushing yourself so hard that you neglect your self care doesn't get you far either. The journey has to feel the way you want the destination to feel. 

We asked our resident Life Coach, Amanda Walker, co-founder of Lord of the Fries and Melbourne’s hottest new bakery “Weirdoughs”, for some quick goal setting tips to empower you for sweet, sustainable success in the new year.

 Amanda says: 

1.     Take the time to plan your future— remember  although you cannot control everything, you can make the best use of your time. 

2.     What you focus on is what you get — having a clear idea of what you really want is the first step in getting it. 

3.     Making sure the goals are aligned with your highest values makes the whole process flow much easier than going against the grain.

4.     Check for authenticity — are they your goals or someone else's ”shoulds” that you are taking on.

5.     When the fear of failure creeps in, do your inner work. Get coaching, counselling, healing and dig up all the limiting beliefs so you can move forward faster and with more bliss.

6.     Set big goals and take small steps every day to move toward them.  Ticking off tasks which move you in the diredtion of your dreams is very enlivening and empowering.

7.     Make the goals as SMART as possible (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely).

8.     Write them goals down! Read them every day; create a vision board and ramp up your dreams. The more focus, the more things that support your focus come toward you. 

9.     Set yourself up with strong daily habits to support you such as exercise, high vibe eating and mediation. Even a little bit of all of the above creates a great framework to thrive within. 

10. Let go and let it flow. Sometimes goals change or the universe shows us another way we need to go. That’s alright, don’t hang on if the goals become no longer relevant for you. If your intention is genuine, for the greater good and your own growth, the universe will show you the way. 

11. Bonus hot tip – practise imagining you’ve accomplished what you set out to achieve or acquire – feel the feels and that will magnify the Law of Attraction supporting you on your mission. 


Born in Toronto, Canada, Amanda’s journey to co-founding Lord of the Fries with her husband has combined her love of french fries with her commitment to thinking big, leading with love and living kindly. She is known for her passion for the brand and its mission, a determination to succeed and a desire to bring sustainable business practices into the front lines of fast food. She now coaches women on their inward journey and mentors businesses through their outward reality with the aim to lead with love, evolve oneself and strive for actualization.

Amanda is available for private coaching at MISS FOX by appointment, or online. To book with Amanda contact us or call MISS FOX on 90280350 to get connected.


Ladies: Wanting to step into living your best life but don’t quite know how… or haven’t made the time since you are so busy with the grind? Join Amanda Walker; co-founder of Lord of the Fries, accredited coach and business mentor, alongside Victoria Fox; founder of MISS FOX Melbourne, for an afternoon of shaping your vision, creating your reality and vibrating higher.


From our Director


What is self care?

You will hear us talk a lot about self care at MISS FOX, but what exactly does this mean? To me:

Self care is a commitment to yourself — to nurture your mind, body and spirit.

It involves intentionally engaging in behaviours and practices that promote your own well being. Self care means putting yourself on the list of beings that you take care of, and putting yourself at the top of that list — not at the exclusion of care for others but ensuring that you get as much as the other people do in your world. Taking your own wellbeing into account as you evaluate choices is critical for many of us that tend to always put others first. Your wellbeing isn’t your only priority, but by practicing self care it is your top priority — and that’s important.

Self care is about taking full responsibility for your own care, and not expecting others to care for you. As adult human beings we have a responsibility to society that we will care for ourselves. Self care requires that we pay attention to ourselves, sensing our inner state and taking action where required to be healthy and happy.

It is important to note that self care has to do with the intention behind your activities — self care comes from a place of love: it’s about feeling good, healthy, and self-confident and honouring yourself. It’s for pleasing you, not anyone else.

Why is self care important

The golden reason for self care can be summed up with this mantra:

“I am my best me when I am taking care of myself”

Self care sets you up to succeed in life. People who engage in good self care are more productive, satisfied and happier. It helps reduce stress and anxiety and is key to a balanced and fulfilled existence, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. It helps cultivate a real, positive relationship with yourself, and because the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for all other relationships —including people, career, money and the environment — your self care becomes a foundation for a deeper, authentic connection with the world.

Self care is your responsibility — not someone else’s. We all have an individual responsibility to grow and be responsible for ourselves. When you effectively take care of yourself it allows acting authentically with other people, and removes any need to manipulate others to take care of you. Putting your needs and priorities first also allows us to put forth our best efforts in life. By having strong boundaries and saying no, you can show up in in the world from a place of inner alignment and truth — and when you feel good, you do good.

It is important not to label self care as selfish. Self care has far reaching benefits for you and everyone in your life. When we are nourished, then we are better able to help others from a stronger foundation. It allows you to make a contribution to others from a place of health, wellbeing and abundance. We have a responsibility to help others grow in their lives too, and helping others starts with helping yourself.


What if I don’t take care of myself?

If you don’t practice taking care of yourself, you can fall into victim behaviour: someone unwilling to take responsibility for your self and actions, and bringing down those around you with a “poor-me” attitude.

This disempowered state sees one blames others as the reason for their unhappiness, and position themselves as someone who needs “rescuing”. Whilst this may be attractive to some, the pity-party is generally a drain on colleagues, friends and family and the world as a whole.

Not taking care of yourself can lead to feelings of resentment, as constantly placing others before you slowly starts to build anger and bitterness. It is important to remember that putting yourself second (or last) on an ongoing basis is your choice, so meditate carefully on who you should really be angry at, and consider learning from it and letting it go — both the resentment and the behaviours that led to it.

Getting unwell on a regular basis or being constantly run down is a sure sign that your self care commitment needs to be improved. If you are unhealthy and unstable, you are not only robbing yourself of the best life has to offer, you are also unable to take care of others. Self care is an investment in the wellbeing of all.

What self care isn’t:

Self care is not the same as selfishness. Selfishness or self-serving behaviour is lacking any consideration about others and profiting by this. Self care is about making sure that we are well and healthy so that we are actually more available to help others — replenishing your resources without depleting someone else’s. A selfish action is motivated by “me-first, me-only”, whereas self care has the message “me-first, me-too”.

Self care isn’t about self indulgence or to be seen as a luxury. Whilst it can include pampering, it is about surviving and thriving. Sustainable, small and frequent self care functions are also certainly more valuable than occasional decadence. Like any relationship, someone showing kindness every day means more than one grand gesture a year, so apply that same principle to your self.

Self care isn’t about activities that are a chore. They should fill you up, not be a burden. It is important that you find the type of self care that works for you — yoga, drawing, running or bubble baths might be lovely, but if it doesn’t feel good to you, it isn’t your truth. Self care isn’t guilty pleasures either… cakes, holidays, shoes or reckless behaviour can be enjoyable and bring some temporary relief, but real self care activities contribute to your long term health and wellbeing.

Self care doesn’t come from practices or activities to impress or please others — it’s about meeting your own needs, not society’s. But it also isn’t an excuse to break commitments or be lazy or irresponsible. Self care is about honouring your authentic needs, not your ego.

Self care isn’t about caring for everyone else and leaving yourself out, and neither is it making yourself your only priority. Self care essentially means that there are two truths sharing the same place — be kind to yourself and be kind to others.

—Victoria Lucille Fox @victorialucillefox